by Marie, a Bob Hope Village Resident
One never thinks of really getting old, it just seems to happen. And when we realize it is happening the question is what do we do about it and how do we handle the problems that come with aging?
Married for 50 years and so used to be taken care of, even though in the last year of my husband's life, it was me caring for him. But he knew that he had things worked out after his death that would keep me comfortable.
The one thing that he didn't realize, nor did I do was how losing your mate affects you. think I was in a fog for almost two years. During my fog years, I spent money as if it were water, depleting a good part of my future security. I moved four times within the first five years of his death. Those were expensive moves, to say the least. Nothing nor nowhere satisfied my mind. I truly didn't know what I wanted.
And the friends we had together decided that having a single person around just didn't fit in with their activities. Therefore, a good portion of our friends dropped out of communication.
In the second year of my widowhood, I moved near my son to home-school his daughter had her four hours a day, and during those hours, I was content but as soon as he left I was one lonely lady. After a year of homeschooling, it was time for her to rejoin the private school that she was enrolled in before as she needed the social side of school which I could not provide. So, I was without anything to occupy my time or mind.
I found myself applying for a job because I didn't know what to do with myself. It was the best thing possible as it gave me something to occupy my mind during most of the day and a sense of commitment again.
I worked for two years and transferred to another store when I made one of my moves. worked my way up to being a supervisor and life was pretty good, except I didn't have any friends outside of work. I would go home and eat a quiet dinner by myself then sit in my chair and crochet or watch tv until time for bed. Not necessarily a successful life.
I was desperate for friends, so I joined the local Elks lodge. This was very good for me while I was there, but not so great when I left as I still had not made friends outside of the lodge. No one rang my doorbell looking for me. There were times that I wondered if I died, how long it would take for someone to find me.
Since I have macular degeneration. and my sight is slowly declining, I decided that the Air Force Enlisted Village was the place for me to live out my remaining years. My husband was a retiree with 26 years in the Air Force so I was eligible to live there. After applying and talking to the people in charge at their facility, I sent in the paperwork and started the wait for an open apartment.
The Sales staff worked with me and I was able to relocate within a decent amount of time. Best thing EVER!
Am I still without friends? Heck, no! My doorbell rings most days and I am invited to join friends for dinner and other activities. The comradery here is refreshing as we all have similar experiences, therefore, a lot to talk about. Oh, and I even have a part-time job where I am making more friends.
